One of the things I’ve always loved about your writing (and voice) @pollyvernon is the enduring theme of unapologetic boy-craziness that runs through it… crushes are good for the soul! They should not be discarded with puberty, marriage or even our periods. My Granny spent the last years of her life watching old vhs tapes of Roger Federer winning grand slam titles while giggling and fanning herself. She was buried at 99 in a Catholic cemetery with a signed photo of him, loins fired into the afterlife. Wonderful. Thank you.
Back in the 90’s we lived next door to a Premier league footballer. When he mowed the lawn in summer all the women, including me felt the urge…… to clean our upstairs windows.
Come to think of it he would have passed JBM tests. Babysat my boys, swapped computer games with them, read books & looked fit in shirts but not too fit.
One of the things I’ve always loved about your writing (and voice) @pollyvernon is the enduring theme of unapologetic boy-craziness that runs through it… crushes are good for the soul! They should not be discarded with puberty, marriage or even our periods. My Granny spent the last years of her life watching old vhs tapes of Roger Federer winning grand slam titles while giggling and fanning herself. She was buried at 99 in a Catholic cemetery with a signed photo of him, loins fired into the afterlife. Wonderful. Thank you.
Mine was 92, read soft porn & lusted after Novak & Grigor Dimitrov. Seems elderly women lose all their inhibitions, not only their “nice” filter.
And I’ve just remembered mine had a thing for Stephen Tomkinson in Drop the Dead Donkey
Does this mean we can all look forward to geriatric fanny flutters? Will they be a thing on whatever follows Substack in the 2040-2060s?
At least by then we won’t need to shave/wax it & won’t care about our goatees :)
Haaaa this made me LAUGH. You’re right, they need to rename it Everybody Wants Him which is also easier to remember.
A) I am SO GLAD and b) why is the actual title so incredibly hard to remember? Cos it is!
Back in the 90’s we lived next door to a Premier league footballer. When he mowed the lawn in summer all the women, including me felt the urge…… to clean our upstairs windows.
Come to think of it he would have passed JBM tests. Babysat my boys, swapped computer games with them, read books & looked fit in shirts but not too fit.
Typo alert looked fit in shorts
He would certainly qualify as a JBM
absolutely sublime writing as always… you captured my thoughts on Nobody Wants This and jumper man perfectly 💕
Oh you are just a DARLING XXXXXXX