The first time I wrote a book, I got trolled so badly - by women - I nearly had a breakdown. It took me 10 years to write another. Now I have: will it happen again? And will it destroy me this time?
I couldn’t put myself into your shoes, Polly, until I read the bit about that school bullying, peculiar to girls, where, out of nowhere, nobody is talking to you. I can still feel the utter raw visceral pain of that over 40 years later. Well done you for overcoming it and I know it makes no difference for me to say it says far more about the bullies than it does you. To criticise without reading is beyond stupid and tells you all you need to know about their judgement and intellect. The only positive thing I can do is to both order your old and pre-order your new; nice cover BTW! 🌸💕🌸
I read and enjoyed your book back when it was first out. I had just turned 30 and I remember buying it for my mum and sister too who also loved it. I still think about that book quite a lot. I didn’t know at the time that you received this kind of trolling but I do remember thinking after I read it, people are going to have negative things to say about this. I think that’s because I have always subscribed to your brand of feminism and had always has people saying that to me that it wasn’t good enough. Real feminists can’t watch love island, or read trashy magazines or care so much about lipstick etc…
I always have thought you are brave and have the words to articulate what a lot of us don’t know how to say.
I am really looking forward to reading the new book.
We will be your cheerleaders when you publish the next book Polly, so whatever happens you have some people who watch your back. However much we women are supposed to there for each other for some reason it is very easy for a type of mean girl, who was probably queen bee at school, to be pretty vicious to other women.
I had this happen to me in 2016, for different reasons, and can identify with everything you’ve said. One of the upsides of twitter now being a weird outpost of the internet is that there is no one platform to rain hell down upon you. So whatever people say you’re much less likely to hear about it. Also, as someone said to me back then, you grow a crackle glaze and nothing ever touches you in the same way again. So publish away, Polly. I’m sure it will be great x
Wow, just wow. Couple of things… Have just bought both of your books - seemed like the most positive action I could take. (Covers are great on both). The other thing is that I genuinely don’t understand trolls. Apart from the fact that the internet definitely makes it easier to be rude without the embarrassment and shame that would potentially need to be navigated if done in person. The shame is theirs. Not yours. They are utterly bonkers. Lastly, I comment very cautiously in open forums. This is the only space I have really done so. I’m not in the public eye in any shape or form but I’m not keen on the exposure. I don’t even leave book reviews. It’s too personal. I’ll probably slip quietly into the background for a while because too many comments feels presumptuous. My opinion is irrelevant just as much as the trolls.
Your opinion is valued and measured and warm, and so much more worthy than that of trolls who, I sort of know deep down, are only ever projecting their fears about themselves onto other people. Thank you so so much for ordering the books. That’s just wonderful xxx
What an awful experience you had Polly, and I can totally understand why this is making you feel so anxious again. Like others have said, my experience with this is based mostly at school, but those scars have a habit of coming back and making us feel that shame again. And shame is such a wrong emotion to have to feel, isn’t it?! Cos it’s their shame, not yours or mine!
But, perhaps the one thing that has changed between then and now is that the type of feminism you wrote about then has become more mainstream? Hope so anyway.
I’ve also pre-ordered your new book and the Kindle edition of Hot Feminist (I’m on holiday! In the sun!). And another thing that has changed (hopefully) is that you have us in your corner to get out there and support you. Say the word and we will rally. We meet at dawn. (Not this week though please, have I mentioned I’m on holiday? In the sun!!) love you PV, you are immense and the best thing by far on Substack xx
Love you too and I’m loving you being in the sun right now! A lot has changed since the last book, me, the internet, and you lot. I’m hopeful and grateful as well as a little fearful! But we’ll be good. Thank you so much xxx
That was a terrible, terrible time Polly. Shame on those women - they let us all down while they were targeting you. I loved your book and can't wait for the next one xx
My copy of your first book got dropped in the bath and then covered in the red wine that I spat out from laughing so hard. It sits on my bookshelf looking like its been through some kind of intense battle and lived to tell the tale (a metaphor perhaps?). I loved it and I have gifted it as a present to others. Can we have a more accurate publication date for the second book please Polly? One needs to request annual leave, clear the social calendar and make sure there is plenty of wine in storage. Cannot wait. x
Hey polly,I just want to say, I think hot feminist is one of the most impactful books I’ve read. It really allowed me to accept the duality of being a fierce feminist and wanting to look good, have Botox and like fashion along side wanting equality and less judgement for being a breadwinning career women. It’s hugely influenced the way I feel about these things and how I talk about these issues to other women and men. I had no idea about what trolling you faced, but can believe it given the response often other women have to women saying basically anything. It seems we can’t win, and I’ve learnt from your writing to say f**k it, and try to embrace rather than fight the dualities we face. Looking forward to the next book!
That’s one of the loveliest messages I’ve ever had about the book. I can’t thank you enough. I’m so so glad it has that impact on you. That’s exactly what I wanted. Xxxxxxxxxxx
I love reading you! You're wonderful. We've got your back, Polly! It's always the school bully types isn't it? Always. I flinched reading your words about catastrophising, and feeling like that ostracised little girl at the mercy of school bullies again. That little girl is inside me too, and I felt your words, and I feel for you having their shit foisted on you. Hard agree with what you say about the meaning of feminism. All the self-defined eternal 'mean girls' who think it's clever to troll you oh-so-bravely from behind their phone screens are anti-feminists. And they're utterly pathetic. X
Polly. I know you wrote this a while ago but with the impending publication of your new book (pre ordered!) I can imagine the panic is setting in. I was trolled on twitter in 2017 for a different reason and a subsequent thread appeared on a trash forum two years later bringing the trolling back up again for round two. I knew who was behind it and took legal action which resulted in it being curbed but not after knocking my confidence in a way I don’t think I’ve ever recovered from – and I turned down a book deal in 2023 because I was so scared that it could happen again. I was bullied at school and it took me right back there. I felt every one of your words and I can empathise enormously and yet the trolling I experienced was on a much smaller scale and within a tiny subsection of the internet. I wish you so much love and luck with your new book and I commend your bravery to have another go. I can’t wait to read it!
Wow. It's bloody horrific to read about what went though - you had alluded to it in the past but I had no idea of the shitstorm that wonderful book had unleashed! I just bought another copy of it for my daughter (currently more hot mess than hot feminist, but aren't we all at 19?!) and in a fit of pre-emptive revenge pre-ordered the new one (which interestingly is only available to pre-order on Kindle in the US??) which I can't wait for. Fuck 'em, PV. We've got your back here! <3
Omg call me naive I never knew that much about trolli g how absolutely awful and feel so sorry you had to go through it you are stro her this time around and for 1 amongst tons of others are really excited to read your new book your tribe have got you! Put your blinkers on and look straight ahead at everyone who will be cheering you on ps when is it out and when can we order??!! Xx
I loved your book Polly, couldn’t put it down and wished for more. I gave it to my oldest daughter to read and then my youngest, both who follow you to this day. Can’t wait for the next book, yep, and you know what those girls that bullied us all at school are now older and nastier and more bitter than before but we are now a force. So bring it on Polly, let them come out from under the bridge. If they dare.
I'm still thinking about your comment above that you are expected to promote your own work. Where I keep coming back to, is that this is a H&S issue. You suffered real damage when your last book came out. It cannot be lawful for your publisher to expose you to a known risk. If they were insisting you signed copies in an unsafe building, you would refuse and they'd get into trouble if they tried to insist. I expect I'm sounding awfully po-faced, but I do feel strongly - as does everyone else on here - that your work shouldn't be allowed to hurt you.
I couldn’t put myself into your shoes, Polly, until I read the bit about that school bullying, peculiar to girls, where, out of nowhere, nobody is talking to you. I can still feel the utter raw visceral pain of that over 40 years later. Well done you for overcoming it and I know it makes no difference for me to say it says far more about the bullies than it does you. To criticise without reading is beyond stupid and tells you all you need to know about their judgement and intellect. The only positive thing I can do is to both order your old and pre-order your new; nice cover BTW! 🌸💕🌸
Oh you darling! Thank you!
And yeah, it’s girls at school bullying, that’s what it is. Xxxxxxxxx
Oh this, and they’re the same girls too. The ones that did that, do this, while congratulating themselves for being the best, most popular, feminists.
I read and enjoyed your book back when it was first out. I had just turned 30 and I remember buying it for my mum and sister too who also loved it. I still think about that book quite a lot. I didn’t know at the time that you received this kind of trolling but I do remember thinking after I read it, people are going to have negative things to say about this. I think that’s because I have always subscribed to your brand of feminism and had always has people saying that to me that it wasn’t good enough. Real feminists can’t watch love island, or read trashy magazines or care so much about lipstick etc…
I always have thought you are brave and have the words to articulate what a lot of us don’t know how to say.
I am really looking forward to reading the new book.
That is incredibly kind and means more than you can know. Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
We will be your cheerleaders when you publish the next book Polly, so whatever happens you have some people who watch your back. However much we women are supposed to there for each other for some reason it is very easy for a type of mean girl, who was probably queen bee at school, to be pretty vicious to other women.
I gotta say, my whole experience of Substack and you excellent people is being very healing in terms of the internet. So appreciate it ❤️❤️❤️
Hear, hear
I had this happen to me in 2016, for different reasons, and can identify with everything you’ve said. One of the upsides of twitter now being a weird outpost of the internet is that there is no one platform to rain hell down upon you. So whatever people say you’re much less likely to hear about it. Also, as someone said to me back then, you grow a crackle glaze and nothing ever touches you in the same way again. So publish away, Polly. I’m sure it will be great x
Wow, just wow. Couple of things… Have just bought both of your books - seemed like the most positive action I could take. (Covers are great on both). The other thing is that I genuinely don’t understand trolls. Apart from the fact that the internet definitely makes it easier to be rude without the embarrassment and shame that would potentially need to be navigated if done in person. The shame is theirs. Not yours. They are utterly bonkers. Lastly, I comment very cautiously in open forums. This is the only space I have really done so. I’m not in the public eye in any shape or form but I’m not keen on the exposure. I don’t even leave book reviews. It’s too personal. I’ll probably slip quietly into the background for a while because too many comments feels presumptuous. My opinion is irrelevant just as much as the trolls.
Your opinion is valued and measured and warm, and so much more worthy than that of trolls who, I sort of know deep down, are only ever projecting their fears about themselves onto other people. Thank you so so much for ordering the books. That’s just wonderful xxx
What an awful experience you had Polly, and I can totally understand why this is making you feel so anxious again. Like others have said, my experience with this is based mostly at school, but those scars have a habit of coming back and making us feel that shame again. And shame is such a wrong emotion to have to feel, isn’t it?! Cos it’s their shame, not yours or mine!
But, perhaps the one thing that has changed between then and now is that the type of feminism you wrote about then has become more mainstream? Hope so anyway.
I’ve also pre-ordered your new book and the Kindle edition of Hot Feminist (I’m on holiday! In the sun!). And another thing that has changed (hopefully) is that you have us in your corner to get out there and support you. Say the word and we will rally. We meet at dawn. (Not this week though please, have I mentioned I’m on holiday? In the sun!!) love you PV, you are immense and the best thing by far on Substack xx
Love you too and I’m loving you being in the sun right now! A lot has changed since the last book, me, the internet, and you lot. I’m hopeful and grateful as well as a little fearful! But we’ll be good. Thank you so much xxx
That was a powerful listen PV. The mind gremlins are annoying buggers - stay strong, stay safe and be proud of your new book xx
Thank you my dear friend xxx
That was a terrible, terrible time Polly. Shame on those women - they let us all down while they were targeting you. I loved your book and can't wait for the next one xx
Love you JB ❤️❤️❤️
My copy of your first book got dropped in the bath and then covered in the red wine that I spat out from laughing so hard. It sits on my bookshelf looking like its been through some kind of intense battle and lived to tell the tale (a metaphor perhaps?). I loved it and I have gifted it as a present to others. Can we have a more accurate publication date for the second book please Polly? One needs to request annual leave, clear the social calendar and make sure there is plenty of wine in storage. Cannot wait. x
Hey polly,I just want to say, I think hot feminist is one of the most impactful books I’ve read. It really allowed me to accept the duality of being a fierce feminist and wanting to look good, have Botox and like fashion along side wanting equality and less judgement for being a breadwinning career women. It’s hugely influenced the way I feel about these things and how I talk about these issues to other women and men. I had no idea about what trolling you faced, but can believe it given the response often other women have to women saying basically anything. It seems we can’t win, and I’ve learnt from your writing to say f**k it, and try to embrace rather than fight the dualities we face. Looking forward to the next book!
That’s one of the loveliest messages I’ve ever had about the book. I can’t thank you enough. I’m so so glad it has that impact on you. That’s exactly what I wanted. Xxxxxxxxxxx
I love reading you! You're wonderful. We've got your back, Polly! It's always the school bully types isn't it? Always. I flinched reading your words about catastrophising, and feeling like that ostracised little girl at the mercy of school bullies again. That little girl is inside me too, and I felt your words, and I feel for you having their shit foisted on you. Hard agree with what you say about the meaning of feminism. All the self-defined eternal 'mean girls' who think it's clever to troll you oh-so-bravely from behind their phone screens are anti-feminists. And they're utterly pathetic. X
Ah this is just ❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️ back to you!
Polly. I know you wrote this a while ago but with the impending publication of your new book (pre ordered!) I can imagine the panic is setting in. I was trolled on twitter in 2017 for a different reason and a subsequent thread appeared on a trash forum two years later bringing the trolling back up again for round two. I knew who was behind it and took legal action which resulted in it being curbed but not after knocking my confidence in a way I don’t think I’ve ever recovered from – and I turned down a book deal in 2023 because I was so scared that it could happen again. I was bullied at school and it took me right back there. I felt every one of your words and I can empathise enormously and yet the trolling I experienced was on a much smaller scale and within a tiny subsection of the internet. I wish you so much love and luck with your new book and I commend your bravery to have another go. I can’t wait to read it!
Wow. It's bloody horrific to read about what went though - you had alluded to it in the past but I had no idea of the shitstorm that wonderful book had unleashed! I just bought another copy of it for my daughter (currently more hot mess than hot feminist, but aren't we all at 19?!) and in a fit of pre-emptive revenge pre-ordered the new one (which interestingly is only available to pre-order on Kindle in the US??) which I can't wait for. Fuck 'em, PV. We've got your back here! <3
Omg call me naive I never knew that much about trolli g how absolutely awful and feel so sorry you had to go through it you are stro her this time around and for 1 amongst tons of others are really excited to read your new book your tribe have got you! Put your blinkers on and look straight ahead at everyone who will be cheering you on ps when is it out and when can we order??!! Xx
I loved your book Polly, couldn’t put it down and wished for more. I gave it to my oldest daughter to read and then my youngest, both who follow you to this day. Can’t wait for the next book, yep, and you know what those girls that bullied us all at school are now older and nastier and more bitter than before but we are now a force. So bring it on Polly, let them come out from under the bridge. If they dare.
I'm still thinking about your comment above that you are expected to promote your own work. Where I keep coming back to, is that this is a H&S issue. You suffered real damage when your last book came out. It cannot be lawful for your publisher to expose you to a known risk. If they were insisting you signed copies in an unsafe building, you would refuse and they'd get into trouble if they tried to insist. I expect I'm sounding awfully po-faced, but I do feel strongly - as does everyone else on here - that your work shouldn't be allowed to hurt you.